Damn you and your filial piety
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Victims on both sides
A Chinese culture professor at the Capital Normal University in Beijing sees the tension between parents and children on the mainland as "side effects" of decades of political and social upheaval.
"The current problem is a Chinese-made invention that requires collative introspection and confession," Tao Dongfeng said.
"Yet we elder generation will not easily drop our mindset even if someone held a gun to our head."
"By contrast, Chinese born in the 1950s who left for Hong Kong, Taiwan or emigrated to Western countries do not go through the same problems with their children."
Many headstrong fathers and mothers are in fact victims of the old system, said Sun Xiaoyun, deputy director of the China Youth & Children Research Center in Beijing.
"They swallowed up all the pressure in China's transition and now they feel lost in the new era," Sun said.
"On the other hand, parents with increasing spending power are buying up educational resources such as better schools, teachers and degrees to arm their children for fierce competition in a developing nation anxious for quick results."
The children themselves are victims too, explained Wang Zhanjun, an education expert who published his book Anti-parents? No in November and has offered free psychiatric treatment to parents and children since August 19.
China has more than 100 million "little emperors," the only child in families since the one-child policy was implemented.
Stereotypically portrayed as parents' desire for their child to experience the benefits they themselves were denied, a syndrome has emerged from this child's sole command of the attention of parents and grandparents.
The traditional Chinese family has collapsed into four grandparents and two parents doting on one child.
"This demographic reality is like a time bomb that gives the only child higher social expectations, rising economic burden and tremendous mental stress," Wang said.
Last month Liang Yixin's son Zhang Jianyong, a 26-year-old office worker in Shanghai, bought his mother an apartment with all his savings of more than 100,000 yuan.
"Other parents are able to financially support their children or give them a happy family, but I did nothing … I feel ashamed…" Liang sighed.
A similar shame dogged Sun Liang, 28, jobless, but applying for an accountancy certificate in September.
"My father almost gave up everything for me. I'll take him with me wherever I am, stay around him and learn to love him as a son."
